Oh, Boy - Obento! Bow Tie Bear Bento

I'm cross-posting this from Sexy Vegan Mama, because it's simple enough that anyone can do it, and cute enough to share!

Happy Vegan MoFo!

Let's make one thing clear... I'm NOT one of those crafty moms who scrapbooks, decorates my house for every season, turns vintage suitcases into shabby chic conversation pieces, or makes masterpieces of boxed lunches.

I'm just not.

What I AM is a mama who's always looking for fun, easy ways to get food into my kids' bodies, while acknowledging our entire family's hodgepodge of food restrictions:

I'm vegan, Pepper has digestive issues (we're still working on identifying those -- she's heading toward a referral to a GI specialist), Curlytop and Snugglebug are allergic to Red Dye 40, and poor little Snugglebug can't have fruit if it's juiced or dried due to the change in sugar concentration.

(Oh, by the way, please go VOTE for this blog in the Circle of Moms Top 25 Food Allergy Mom blog contest! Sexy Vegan Mama was a late nomination, and there are only a few days left of the contest, so I have a lot of catching up to do! You can vote once every 24 hours. Thank you!)

I also don't have a ton of time on my hands, so when I see those crafty moms cranking out cute-as-a-button bentos, I'm absolutely floored that anyone, anyone would spend so much time creating a meal that's going to roll around in a backpack for a few hours before its precious owner gets around to eating it.

Still, there's something to be said for a cute lunch when you're a pigtailed princess in kindergarten or the first grade... So I made a quickie little bento that's so simple, even a caveman mom of seven can do it.

About the bento boxes -- I picked them up in a Tokyo hotel gift shop, and I'm sure I paid too many Yen for them, but they're adorable, and they've held up well over the past couple years, with just a bit of scratching to the adornment on the top lid. I haven't found the exact same ones online yet, but these are similar in design, except they include a spoon, rather than chopsticks. Plus, they're less than ten bucks. Woohoo!

(Read about my adventures in Japan here.)

They have a shallow tray on the bottom with a lid that fits snugly inside the edges, then a deeper tray on top, with removable partitions and a snug-fitting lid. On top of all of it is a clear, shallow, hard plastic top which creates a storage area for small plastic chopsticks (included in the set) or other tiny utensils. (I'm fond of keeping and reusing for lunches the diminutive plastic forks which come in Simply Asia's Sesame Teriyaki noodle bowls (they're vegan!), which I pack when I'm traveling to places where I'll be cooped up in a hotel room or where vegan options are hopeful, at best.)

Anyway, to make this bento, I:

• Cut vegan whole wheat bread slices with a bear-shaped cookie cutter (that link goes to the exact one I use)
• Made a sandwich with PB & J (no "J" for Snugglebug, as she can't digest the sugar, and if your kid's school has a "no nuts" policy, you can use tahini, or make whatever sort of sandwich your progeny will eat)
• Used a wooden skewer to pierce the bread where the eyes, nose and bow tie would be to help the "decorations" stay put better
• Placed a dried currant in each of the holes for the eyes and nose (I had to take Snugglebug's currants out before sending her off to school... She said, "Mom! Are you trying to make me sick? You know I can't have RAISINS!" I tried to argue, "They're currants, Honey, and they're just for the pictures," but... Cue dramatic meltdown.)
• Placed two dairy-free chocolate chips, point-to-point, at the bear's neckline for his bow tie
• Tucked cut broccoli florets around the bear
• Used an inexpensive cupcake paper to line the small compartment, then filled it with slivered almonds and dairy-free chocolate chips (I know they make fancy, colorful bento liners, but I'm cheap, and I always fail to plan ahead. Cupcake papers work fine.)
• Filled the bottom tray with baby carrots, garbanzo beans and fresh peas

That's it! Is that the simplest bento ever, or what?!

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The Winner of Super Blake and the Cavity Monster is...

...@toothfairycyber of Twitter!

What more fitting winner of the book - in which Super Blake defeats the Cavity Monster and his evil sidekicks, Ginger Vitis and Sir Plaque - than our favorite tweeting Tooth Fairy?

If you don't follow @toothfairycyber yet, do it! She's the sweetest fairy in the Twitterverse, and a friend to all.

Thanks, Tooth Fairy, for tweeting and promoting our giveaway... and for all you do to keep teeth healthy and strong!

If you didn't win the giveaway this time around, don't despair. Super Blake is available online!

Thanks so much to Tracy Bickhaus (@mamabrickhouse), illustrator Korey Scott, and Super Blake Books (@superblakebooks) for providing the review copy. My family LOVES Super Blake!

"Like" The Gonzo Mama on Facebook, and don't forget to see what's cooking with Sexy Vegan Mama today!

Let the Voting Begin!

Remember when I asked you all to think of roller derby back-up names for me? Well, it's time to vote!

I had a lot of suggestions on the Facebook page and my personal page. I ran them through the database, and posted the ones with no conflicts or "low" conflicts. So, if you see your suggestion listed in the poll, it means you're original and creative... Get down with your funky, ingenious self! ::bom-chicka-wah-wah::


The poll will stay open until midnight, February 28th, and the creator of the name with the most votes will receive a signed copy of my book, Everything I Need to Know About Motherhood I Learned from Animal House, so make sure you send all your friends to vote for your entry so you can shamelessly stuff the ballot box.

If you're on a mobile device or blog reader, or receiving an email subscription, you may need to visit this post directly on your computer to see the poll and participate. ::Quick check - Can you see the poll below? If not, I'm talking to YOU!::









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I Really Need Your Help. It Might Even Be an Emergency. WIN a Copy of My Book, Too!

Photo source

I went to my first roller derby meeting last night. It was very eye-opening, and almost scary enough to make me say, "Sorry... I must've walked into the wrong meeting," and walk out. But not quite.

2011 is my Year of YES. (More on this in next week's column.) It means I'm saying yes to things that ultimately terrify me, but I know I can conquer.

One of those things is public speaking. I hate public speaking. In fact, in my high school speech class, I had to give a demonstration speech, and my hands were shaking so uncontrollably, I dropped all my props and failed the speech. My Speech grade left an ugly blemish on an otherwise stellar academic record. Well, that, and Wood Shop. Whatever.

Anyway, I walked into Mr. Editor's office at my home paper, the Lake Chelan Mirror, whining because someone was mean to me on Facebook. It's unremarkable that some people don't like me (and by "some people," I mean that one woman who really hates me), because I do tend to be a bit opinionated and often come across as pushy in written discussion. However, this particular (different than "that one woman who really hates me") woman attacked me over something I didn't even say, and nothing upsets me more than someone being upset over something they've only imagined about me.

I mean, good gosh - I beat myself up for my own imagined shortcomings enough, without other people inventing new ones to be ticked off at!

Anyway, Mr. Editor said exactly what I thought he'd say. He's always quoting a couple particular passages from the Epistle to the Romans (11:29 and 16:17), and paraphrasing it to "Don't let the haters get you down, Gonzo."

Then he said, "We're doing a podcast." Podcast? Really? The Gonzo Mama does NOT do podcasts. Then I remembered it's the Year of YES, and sucked it up and did it.

Here it is.

It didn't totally suck, so I guess I can do another one. As you can hear, I'm taking on some pretty scary things this year, like doing the Winterfest Splash, and joining roller derby.

Which brings me to my big problem.

I had the perfect roller derby name picked out ("Tawdry Hipburn"), but - I learned at the informational meeting - derby names are exclusive, and no two girls can have the same name. Or, it appears, even terribly similar names. There's already a Tawdry Hepburn and an Audrey Hipburn registered, so I'm out of luck.

I need you guys to give me a roller derby name!!!!!

I'm thinking something with "Gonzo" in it, or something that highlights my glorious veganism, like Gonzo Gladiator or Tofu Terrifier or something, but I'm totally open to suggestions. My goal is to take The Gonzo Mama, if I'm allowed, but I need a back-up name!

I'll take your comments here and on Facebook for the next few days, then put up a poll, and everyone can vote on it.

Aren't you excited? I'm taking you on this derby journey with me, in the hope you'll keep me accountable when I'm nursing a broken arm and want to quit.

Also? I need a busload of money for skates, equipment, insurance, dues and fishnet tights, which means I'll either have to take a part-time job or point excitedly to the donation button up at the top of my blog.

See the donation button? *points excitedly*

Don't forget to leave your suggestion for my derby name in the comments here or on Facebook! I'll have to run suggestions through the list of registered names, so if you don't see your suggestion in the final poll, it's because it was already registered or too similar to a registered name.

I'll send an autographed copy of my book, Everything I Need to Know About Motherhood I Learned from Animal House, to the suggester of the winning suggestion, and there's no limit on the number of names you can suggest, you suggesters, you... So get to it!

To clarify: The readers' favorite will win a book. MY favorite will win my heart! Just wanted to get that out there before everyone voted for "Fat Bottom Ghoul" and then wondered why I didn't adopt it as my own.




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Mommy Blogger Book Giveaway | Joe Spake's Weblog

Mommy Blogger Book Giveaway | Joe Spake's Weblog

My favorite Memphis darling, Joe Spake, is holding a contest to give away a signed copy of my book!

If you haven't ordered your copy yet, why not click on over and enter?

There's a Reason Agents Get 15 Percent

So, you’ve written a book. Congratulations! That’s the easy part.

Now, get ready to find an agent. I like to think there are three primary methods of securing an agent:

1. The Set-Up. You know someone who knows someone who met someone who had the business card of an agent. Or, you are fortunate enough to know an author who has an agent and is willing to recommend your manuscript to his agent.
2. The Blind Date. You perform Internet searches into the wee hours of the morning, reading agent profiles and sending queries to those you feel a connection to. After a few rejections, you lower your standards. Your new mandate becomes the ability to fog a mirror.
3. The Destined Deal. By luck, you’re seated next to an agent on an airplane or an agent trips over your laptop cord as you pound the keys in a coffee shop. A conversation about your manuscript ensues, and the agent produces a contract from his briefcase, ready for your signature.

Your agent’s job is finding a publisher for your book, and getting you the best advance and royalties possible. The agent takes a hefty chunk, but you don’t care. She’s worked hard, pimping your manuscript. You’re a grateful little book hooker, and your book gets published.

If you can’t find a book pimp of your very own, there are other ways to get your tome off your hard drive and into the hands of your adoring fans:

1. Compete for Publication. Some publishing houses run contests which award winners with publication. Contests may or may not charge entrants a reading fee, and may or may not offer a cash advance upon acceptance of the winner’s manuscript. Publishers don’t like to take chances; they want to print books that will sell. If your book is atypical in genre, length or style, you’re not likely to find yourself among the finalists.
2. Go to the Source. Most large publishing houses don’t accept queries from writers. Instead, they rely on agents to prescreen manuscripts and submit only the best. Remember, in publishing, “best” means most marketable with highest sales potential. Some smaller presses will entertain queries from authors and negotiate contracts directly with writers. Since small presses have small budgets, an author may get little to no advance and a small royalty per book sold.
3. Do-It-Your-Damn-Self. The stigma of self-publishing is actually relatively new, and already fading. Margaret Atwood, Zane Grey, Benjamin Franklin, Ernest Hemingway, Mark Twain and Edgar Allan Poe are just a few authors who self-published. For a modern-day self-publishing success story, one need only look as far as The Shack by William P. Young, which has sold millions of copies and spent over 100 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list.

I chose Publishing Option 3 for my first book, Everything I Need to Know About Motherhood I Learned from Animal House. That means I have no publisher to market my book, plan a book tour, or provide promotional materials. I know absolutely nothing about any of those tasks. I’m learning as I go.

If you’re lucky enough to secure an agent, and that agent manages to place your book with a publisher, or if you find your way into a publisher’s heart on your own, it will be someone’s job to send copies of your book to important people in the world for reviews.

Should you choose Publishing Option 3, plan to go into the world to find important people on your own. Beg them to review your book. Offer to babysit their kids or weed their gardens. Get them drunk, take photos of them shaking their groove thangs, and promise not to post the pictures on Facebook if they’ll write a review.

Call any relatives within a 200-mile radius and ask if they know a local business owner willing to host a book signing. Ask how many people they can con into showing up at the local self-serve pet wash for an event titled, “Books, Bubbles and Bones.” Voila! A book tour.

Speaking of book tours, I’m hoping you’ll all show up at Riverwalk Books on Friday, June 18th, at 7:00 p.m. for my very first book signing. Can’t make it? You can still order signed copies right here, on my website. Did I mention they make great Father’s Day gifts?

Would you care to review the photos I’m preparing to upload to Facebook before deciding on your purchase?

Bad Gratitude Monday: About That Haircut...

When last you saw me, perhaps I looked like this:

I'm pleased to report that I got a haircut and did not walk out of the salon, cringing. The barber wasn't in, though, so the 'stache remains:

Just kidding. I was feeling a bit left out at Cantina's second annual Mustache Fiesta. I didn't win the mustache contest. Our good friend, MC, did. And why wouldn't he, with a killer 'stache like this one?

Anyway, here's a better picture of me and my hair. As you can see, I didn't get the Scarlett locks I was hoping for, but it'll pass:

Oh, and here's one where my shoulder isn't smooshing the hair so much:

(That's my friend, Jimbo. He calls me his "future ex-wife." If true, it means at LEAST two more divorces in the crystal ball for me. What's a girl to do?)

And, just to show that we're not divorced yet, here's one of me and Mr. Wright:

This Monday, I'm grateful for:

• Haircuts that don't make me want to stab my eyes out
• Good friends
• A marriage that's still holding it together

What are you grateful for?

Earth Hour Superheros! (Our Story Contest Winners)

Peter Troast, blogger at EnergyCircle.com, participated in Earth Hour by seeking out and killing "energy vampires" in his home. The family got their household power usage down to 0.2 KW during the event! His kids joined in the cause by sacrificing recording of the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. (BOO, Nickelodeon, for airing during Earth Hour!) Read his Earth Hour story here. Follow him on Twitter! He's @EnergyCircle.

Michele Horne and her family also participated, and Michele is keeping the energy going by participating in the Earth Hour to Earth Day Challenge and posting green tips on her blog at AYummyMummy.com. Follow Michele on Twitter... She's @YummyMommysEyes.

Mad props and a year-long subscription to Gonzo Parenting go to both of these super winners!

Thanks for sharing your stories, and for helping to make the world a greener place!

Earth Hour 2009

My family participated in Earth Hour 2009 by turning our lights off for an hour and playing cards by candlelight.

We had so much fun we now want to make it a weekly event!

Did you participate? What did you do during the lights-out hour?

The most innovative or fun idea will win a year-long subscription to Gonzo Parenting zine, so be sure to include your Twitter username or another way to contact you! Winner will be announced on April 8th!

Vote Gonzo!

TheGonzoMama.com is collecting votes in three different catergories at Blogger's Choice Awards.

We still have a long way to go! Sign up, then vote for TheGonzoMama.com here.

Want to stay tuned and help spread the word? Join our cause on Facebook!