Thursday, May 14, 2009

You've Got (Hate) Mail

As I mentioned on Bad Gratitude Monday, The Gonzo Mama received her very first hate mail, cementing her place in the world of real columnists.

For those not lucky enough to live in the distribution area of the Lake Chelan Mirror, I'm posting the letter, in all its glory. The letter came from Judy Brezina of Carlton, Washington, and was written in response to my piece, "Forget Gitmo... I've Been Bikini Shopping."

Wright is wrong

Dear Editor,

I just received my Mirror in the mail today. I came to the letters page fully expecting there to be at least several letters referring to Ms. Wright’s incredibly ignorant, insensitive article last week. I didn’t write because I felt the bases were covered. It seems the bases are open so I’ll step up to the plate.

I’m not sure who to blame on this one, Ms. Wright or the editor. That was the most imbecilic article I have ever read, bar none. How can any sane person compare being held prisoner against every right we hold dear and tortured on a daily basis to trying on swimsuits? I want to ask very clearly, what were you thinking? Or were either of the above mentioned people even thinking at all? The article that Ms. Wright tried to be ever so clever writing actually made me sick to my stomach. What on God’s green earth ever lead you to believe you were a writer? Why did the editor let it pass? The piece is unacceptable. Period.

I looked up the word Gonzo: 1. idiosyncratically subjective but engagé; 2. bizarre; 3. freewheeling or unconventional especially to the point of outrageousness.

So, let me understand this. Gonzo Mama? Well, at least the bizarre part fits. Oh, and since I’m here and fired up, there are many people, myself included, that believe we should be extremely careful about overpopulation. Ms. Wright seems to be very proud of her ability to procreate. Personally, I don’t think it’s such a hot commodity. That’s why God gave us the brains to control ourselves.

Judy Brezina

What do you think? Do you agree that I am a talentless imbecile? Should my editor be fired for printing my piece? Should I be sterilized? (Oops. Too late. She obviously doesn't read my column, or she'd know I only gave birth to one of my seven kids and can't have any more.)

You may respond to Ms. Brezina's letter online here or send an email to the clueless editor who posts my drivel, Les Bowen, at


  1. eh fuck this woman. i want to leave a comment on her shit so bad but it would only make me look like an even bigger douchebag than her.

  2. I believe in the right to free speech but if you are going to use this right to criticize someone else's writing then at least know of what you speak. Clearly the article was written with humor and a wink. I can't honestly believe that anyone took it that you ACTUALLY believed bikini shopping wast the equivalent of Gitmo. Jeeze louise...have we really lost that much of our sense of humor?

  3. That woman has way to much time on her hands and sounds very bitter!

  4. Some people just lack the ability to see humor anywhere. I thought your article was well-written and hilarious!

  5. Jenny, I love you, even when you're a douchebag.

  6. Anonymous 1 and Anonymous 2:

    It's a sad day when we can't laugh about ourselves and stay lighthearted about current events.

    Good golly... Late night television hosts would be out of work if it was wrong (or not funny) to make light of world events!

  7. Aunt Cindy:

    Thank you so much for the compliment. It's nice to hear the praise, and not just the poop. :)

  8. Hmm. I think its really sad that this woman misplaced her sense of humor. I mean really, with all the yuck out there, we need a sense of humor, not to mention a sense of fun, to survive. I am not sure what bothers me more, the idea that she doesn't seem to believe you have the right to be to write about what ever you wish, or if it's the obvious anger she portrays at you being proud of being a parent to a total of seven children. Does she not believe in adoption? Or is it the step parenthood she objects?
    I think that last comment about procreation is the one that just ticks me off. I don't care if you did actually give birth to all 7 or if 17 kids were dropped from the sky on your doorstep, choosing to be a parent of any kind to any child is something to be commended for.
    Having said all that, I think it's still a great day. This letter just gives you free publicity and might get others fired up enough to get others to read as well.
    Besides, don't you find this kind of ignorance humorous??

  9. Well this letter was almost as funny as your gitmo / bikini comparison. I was laughing out loud when I read the letter. You gotta love it. Wow. And seriously, the gitmo comparison is funny BECAUSE its totally unrealistic and off base. I thought Wanda was funny too at the Correspondents diner. So, there you go.

  10. huh, my guess is that she is a skinny little stick girl who doesn't have ANY issues with trying on a swimsuit AND she is very angry (due tio low blood sugar) and is taking out on you.

  11. Rebecca- the woman in question could possibly body double for Delta Burke, except that she's much shorter.

    Maybe she doesn't swim.

  12. You know what bothers me is she seems to have a judgment without the facts. Does she reaalize you did not birth these chilren?? Population control my butt. What about stupid people control lady? Before she goes spouting off and putting otheerss own, she needs to get her facts straight!! You have been a loving mother, dear friend and have always had a flare tat makes you special aand wonderful. Screw her if you being "Gonzo" bothers her. I say she is jelouse she is so plain.

  13. Aww... thanks, ScrapperMama! I love you to pieces!

    How are your pretty girls and my little boyfriend doing?


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