The World's Hottest Mommy Blogger Laughed at Me

Well, actually, she laughed at my book.

Crissy, Blogger's Choice Awards Hottest Mommy Blogger of 2008 and 2009, reviewed Everything I Need to Know About Motherhood I Learned from Animal House, and she said she was LOLing.

Crissy blogs at, appropriately enough, Crissy's Page, and is a regular columnist at Toy With Me.

Apparently, Crissy is hotter than me. She has the awards to prove it. But, you know, whatever... The fact that my book resides in the bathroom of the world's hottest mommy blogger is, as far as I'm concerned, quite an honor.

I Just Wrote About My Sex Life for a Sex Toy Site. I'm Sorry, Mom.

I think I'm taking embarrassing my parents to a whole new level. In fact, if it ever becomes an Olympic sport, I'm a shoo-in. Can't you just see it?

Anyway, I wrote about Christian sex, and how it's not boring and is, in fact, quite the opposite for married couples with a sense of adventure.

So, you know, if you're going to be grossed out reading about my sex life... don't click over to Toy With Me. Seriously - if you think you'll never be able to look me in the eye again, knowing what Mr. Wright and I do in bed, don't click.

Go watch my book trailer  and buy my book instead. No saucy details of my sex life. I promise.

Also, it goes without saying - don't click over if you're a child. Especially MY children.

Finally, the title I submitted for the piece was "Christian Sex: Not Just Missionary Anymore." It got run as "How I Became a Porn Again Christian." You guys all know I'm vehemently anti-porn, right? Okay. Just wanted to get on the record, there.

Photo: Gonzo Jenny put the bunny ears and banner on me. I added the medal.

Photos from Chelan with Corbin Lewars

My first book signing was fabulously fun and was made even more delicious by the presence of my super-talented and hot mama pal, Corbin Lewars. Check us out!

Thank you, LakeChelanOnlineNews, for the awesome photo!

Thanks again, Riverwalk Books, for hosting us! (Riverwalk still has a few signed copies of our books in stock, so don't be afraid to click on over and order!)

The photo was taken at our post-signing dinner at Chelan's hot new restaurant and bar, Tin Lilly, owned by my friends, Jhen and Tony. Awesome, awesome food, drinks and service. What more could a hot mama ask for?

Perhaps We've Been Married Too Long

A few days ago, I found myself with some extra time. Instead of contemplating the rose garden I never intend to plant, outlining my next novel, or polishing my shoes, I decided to take a shower.

That's right - it was before bedtime for the toddlers, and I managed to steal away into the shower. I even shaved my legs and washed, rinsed, and repeated. When I emerged, smooth-skinned and sweet-smelling, I realized I still had time to spare.

So I plucked my eyebrows. Well, maybe eyebrows - plural - is stretching the truth a bit, since the area above my eyes was beginning to resemble a closely-planted crop of mohair.

After that, what the heck? A little makeup couldn't hurt things, right? And my wet hair could be sculpted into something resembling a "style," if I wiped the dust off my Aussie Sprunch spray and applied it.

Glancing in the mirror, I almost didn't recognize the woman staring back at me, with her lined eyes and mascara, blushed cheeks and glossy color swept across her lips. She was kind of hot - certainly not the same haggard mommy who hides in my reflection in store windows as I slouch around town in yoga pants and sweatshirts with flour smudged across her face and her hair tucked under a denim baseball cap.

No, this woman looked like she had a life! A life, maybe, that wasn't spent in front of a strangely-lit computer screen or, alternately, in the kitchen.

I felt so confident, I pulled on my skinny jeans and a soft, fitted top. I slid on some fashionable flats and spritzed both of my wrists with perfume. I couldn't wait for Mr. Wright to get home! The feeling of accomplishment at taking a shower, plucking my eyebrows, applying makeup and putting on clothing that didn't involve an elastic waistband or a drawstring - all in the same day! - made me mad with confidence and femininity.

Wouldn't he be surprised?

Gosh... I hoped he noticed.

What if he didn't even notice? What if he didn't think there was anything noteworthy of me accomplishing what most women who have "real" jobs do every single morning, and before 8:30 a.m., at that?

A few hours later, I glanced at the clock. It was nearly time for Mr. Wright to arrive home. I checked my lipstick, freshened my fragrance, and met him at the door. I needn't have worried that he wouldn't notice... he did.

Taking in the vision that stood before him, he asked, "You've taken an afternoon lover, haven't you?"


Photo by Dean's Photography. Thank you, Dean... Our photos were perfect!

The Motherhood: From Egg to Zine (and everything in between) Tour in Chelan, Washington!

The talented mamas of Motherhood: From Egg to Zine (and everything in between) (ME2Z) are heating things up in sunny Lake Chelan, Washington on August 1st! ME2Z is a literary and arts performance tour of moms, grandmas, and would-be moms whose mission is to celebrate motherhood and passionate creativity of women.

Pack up your beach blankets and festival chairs, because the mamas are bringing their “mamapalooza” to Chelan’s Riverwalk Park Pavilion. Presented by the Historic Downtown Chelan Association, the outdoor venue is free to the public and has plenty of lawn to lounge on while you take in the show.

This summer’s event will open with music by Two Wannabe Divas and One Real One, the “divalicious” trio comprised of CherylAnn Ellingson, Jeannie Kappple and Kathryn Castrodale, starting at 6:00 p.m.

From 7:00 to 10:00 p.m., enjoy readings by Corbin Lewars of Reality Mom Zine, Rosie Weagant Norton of Riot Mama, The Gonzo Mama’s Christina-Marie Wright, Christy Cuellar-Wentz of Mommy-Muse.com, and more.

Writer/actor/director Laura Leon Freeman will perform reader’s theater segments, and attendees will be treated to the indie folk rock stylings of Ilka Haley of Small Town Girl Productions.

Dance has been a staple of ME2Z performances since the group’s creation, and the Chelan tour will offer belly dance performances by Christy Cuellar-Wentz, Heartfelt Fitness belly dance students, and special sword-dancing and roller-dance segments by Laura Folsom of Heartfelt Fitness.

The Historic Downtown Chelan Association will provide a wine garden with wines from Hard Row to Hoe Vineyards and is planning for a fun mix of vendors during the event. More performers are being added to the program as confirmations roll in, so keep up to date by visiting MotherhoodEggtoZine.com.

For more information, call Christina-Marie at 509-670-8823 or email motherhood@motherhoodeggtozine.com.

The Gonzo Mama Goes Au Natural!

Well, not exactly... but I'm feeling all sorts of natural in my spiffy new tee from ProMom Couture!

(Yes, they're real!)

Check out the cute logo, and it's so soft you can wrap a newborn in it (but who would want to, when you could be looking hot in it?). Promom sent me this shirt to review before they send one to my Hot Mama of the Month, and I put it to the test. I can report, with confidence, that this is the perfect shirt for:

Hanging out at the park,


scouting great organic coffee blends,


shopping for natural flours for homemade bread,


selecting the perfect local wine,

and last, but certainly not least...

...making out with Mr. Wright.

Congratulations to this month's Hot Mama of the Month, Christy Cuellar-Wentz, who will receive this fun tee to wear when she's not milking goats... or even when she is!

Did I mention that ProMom Couture loves the planet, and has pledged to use only water-based inks on their designs? How cool is that?

Get your natural-lovin' self over to ProMomCouture.com and do a little shopping! You'll be a hot mama, and the planet will thank you!

Who knows what delicious ProMom swag next month's Hot Mama will receive? Nominate your hot self or your favorite hottie mommy today!

The Gonzo Mama Guest-Blogs at LipstickDaily.com!

I can't believe they asked me back!

Kate and Elaine, mamas extraordinaire, actually allowed me to wax poetic (pun intended) about my ongoing frustration with leg hair removal on their awesome site, LipstickDaily.com.

Read all about it, leave a comment, and tell 'em The Mama sent you! Go read my post, "Stubble Trouble," then click around on LipstickDaily... I promise you'll laugh!

2009's Hottest Mommy Blogger... The Gonzo Mama?

That's right... I want to be Blogger's Choice Awards' Hottest Mommy Blogger of 2009... and I'm not afraid to use my boobs to do it!

Wanna help?

Go sign up at the Blogger's Choice Awards site. They will send you a confirmation email, you gotta click the link they send you... you know the drill.

Then, come on back to TheGonzoMama.com and click your vote in on the left.

Easy!

For added fun, join the Facebook cause, Make The Gonzo Mama Blogger's Choice for Hottest Mommy Blogger! Jump in on the discussion about what makes a mommy a MILF, and more!