Tricks of the Trade-Off

Getting what you want from your spouse is easy...
if you know how.
(Photo by Dean's Photography, Everett, WA)

You’ll never hear Mr. Wright speak an unkind word against me. Well, from my point of view, anyway. See, I don’t think it’s unflattering to be described as “wily, calculating and manipulative.” In fact, I think it’s just another way for my husband to acknowledge my brilliant creativity.

After ten years with my beloved, I can say with confidence, I’ve learned the best ways to approach him, given any particular situation.

For example, if I find a dress I love at my favorite boutique, and I know he’ll balk at the price, I simply purchase the dress, along with another, less flattering, more expensive dress. When I get home, I say, “Honey, I bought two dresses today, but I’m going to take one back. Which do you like?”

He’ll check the price tags, and invariably insist I keep the one I originally wanted.

Like most men, he responds positively to any promise of Grown-Up Time at day’s end. If I need something painted, some heavy thing moved, or a major purchase, I know if I suggest there’s an act of physical fun in it for him, it will make the chore much more pleasant for him. You know, a spoonful of sugar and all that.

The real trick is, of course, not to promise anything I don’t have a hankerin’ for in the first place. That way, I don’t make extra work for myself, see?

Take yesterday, for example. After I got the little ones off to school, I spent the day in search of distraction to keep me from housework. It was no easy task, either, considering the amount of work to be done. Anyway, nearing the end of the day, I’d done everything but the housework, and I began to suspect Mr. Wright would notice the mountain of dishes in the sink and the avalanche of laundry spilling out of the utility room and into the hallway.

Mr. Wright is not, by nature, a Noticer of Things. Still, there are some things I can’t sweep under the rug – not that I didn’t try it with the avalanche of laundry.

Anyway, I did what any other wife would do… I took a photo of myself, sans clothing, with my camera phone and sent it to my husband, along with a note saying, “Let this serve as official notice I did absolutely no housework today.”

I didn’t even have to mention Grown-Up Time.

What’s that? You don’t do that every time your husband is headed home from work and you “forgot” to clean his house and cook his supper? Really? Perhaps you should. It worked out smartly for me.

Mr. Wright was awfully happy to do all the dishes and laundry last night. Can you imagine? I figure, after a couple repeat photo sessions, he’ll hire a maid and send me to photography school.

For the poor husbands out there, wondering if Mr. Wright got his Grown-Up Time, don’t fret. He did. I simply can’t resist a man in an apron, mopping my floors.

Gosh, what woman can?