Friday, May 1, 2009

It Ain't Easy Being Green, and The Big Stinky Award Goes to...

We've been taking the bus a lot lately, in an effort to reinforce our "greenitude."

Can I just say that public transit is not for those without a sense of humor? I mean, getting on the bus and getting to where I want to go is no problem, even though the LINK runs only every two to four hours, depending on where you catch it.

That sense of humor comes in handy when you decide to bus it with your husband and two toddlers.

Mr. Wright: The bus comes at 10:11, right?
Me: Yes, but I think it's going in the wrong direction.

Mr. Wright: No, no... it's the one we want. Help me hurry up and get the babies ready!
Me: I think it's the wrong bus... They're ready.

Five minutes later, at the bus stop...

Me: It's the wrong bus. The one we want comes at 11:05.
Curlytop (age 3): What's this? Dirt? I love dirt! Tastes like tofu!
Snugglebug (age 2): Forget the bus! I'll just run up to the highway and hitch a ride...
Mr. Wright: *silence*

An hour later, we boarded the (correct) bus with two cranky babies, and were hated by everyone on board. The trip home was actually worse, even though we figured out the bus schedule and actually caught the right bus on the first try.

Curlytop: Public transit SUCKS!
Snugglebug: No, as a matter of fact, I will NOT sit down, Mommy... Even your weak attempts at bribery with that lame can of generic soda pop will not sway me to park my butt on the seat! Mutiny!!!
Me: *glare at Mr. Wright as he checks his email on his Palm*
Mr. Wright: What? What?

Oh, and a note to the ugly woman in the muumuu:

Your eye-rolling and exasperated sighs did not help my sense of humor at all. I almost whipped out the "my babies have developmental issues, including sensory integration dysfunction, and the smell of your Designer Imposters body spray is throwing them into full-on meltdown," but I hate to use my kids' challenges as an "excuse." They are good kids with amazing abilities, and I really don't feel the need to justify their issues to you. Your obesity does not make you ugly, but your attitude does. You get the big stinky award:


  1. You deserve a medal for not letting it rip. Love it. Have had many similar experiences. Like, on a bus from a bizarre preppy woman "Oh, they're twins? Cute. So, what did you name them Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?"

    I deserve a medal too come to think of it!

  2. Oh, yes, Camille... you deserve a medal.

    Sometimes I don't get what people are thinking. My two little ones are 13 months apart, and even when Snugglebug was a newborn, people would ask me if they were twins. Huh?!

    My current favorite (and most often asked) is actually not kid-related. I have a Chinese Crested hairless dog. People actually (frequently) ask, "Did you SHAVE your dog?"

    Well, of all the twisted things I do in my little world, shaving a dog is not one of them. What's wrong with you people?!


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